silent night lonely night
by rachgreengeller
Summary: It is Christmas Eve and Olivia has a stop to make. It was quite a fight but she has something else to say to Fitz. Is it too late or will there be a Christmas miracle? Alternative to 5.9 one shot "Baby It's Cold Outside."
1. Chapter 1

It is now Christmas morning and I am giving gladiators a Christmas gift. Tonight I was watching a "Grey's Anatomy" with Jeff Perry as Thatcher. When I saw him, it caused me to think about how we were left after the season finale. I thought that this would be the way that it would be that first Christmas the Grants were divorced. Merry Christmas!

"The kids will be here soon. " Mellie Grant chimed happily as she sipped her "spiked" eggnog. "Hurry up with those presents." She was perfectly attired in a red Ralph Lauren dress. The decorator had done a lovely job even though they were on a time limit. It was the equivalent of a Christmas wonderland, courtesy of one of the best decorators in Washington. Her Virginia town house had to be put together as well. She was so used to the Laboutin pumps , rather than the UGG house slippers. Melanie Grant had to adapt herself to her new life. On the mantel were signs of that life. There was a picture of Teddy that was taken at the White House staff party. There was also a picture of Karen with her mother that was taken not long ago at a luncheon. She had one lone picture of her late son at a campaign rally just before he died. It was such an irony. The perfect "American" family ? That was such a joke. America's family was now divorced and her ex husband was living in the White House with his eyed the cover on the floor with Olivia on the cover .

The Christmas tree had been decorated and it was the night before Christmas. There wasn't a creature stirring , nor even a mouse. Usually the very active West Wing, was silenced. He took the tumbler and threw down the scotch. It burned all the way down. He looked at the packages under the tree and just nodded his head. This isn't how Fitgerald Thomas Grant the third had planned to spend Christmas. He had requested that Mellie have the kids tonight so he could spend his first Christmas with Olivia. He had requested the chef to make a romantic dinner and also that everyone spend with their families. That way they could be alone. Christmas had never been her favorite and he wanted to make hers special. But that was before the fight. . . Olivia had moved.

"Merry Christmas Baby." The old record played. Olivia sat and looked at the lights on the tree. This was a new concept for her. But there were a lot of new things in her life. The glass of wine was gone, now replaced by vitamins and fruit juice. Her wine glasses were now filled with Ocean Spray. How long could she keep away from him?. The phone would ring but she didn't answer. They needed to talk. She had moved out of the White House and she hadn't talked because the way her hormones worked now, she never knew whether she wanted to fuck him or kill him. Then the feelings would pass.

The ancient Bing Crosby record would play on the turn table.

"And may all your Christmasses be white." He sang.

He heard a knock on the ancient white door. He held his breath. "Come in."

Cyrus peeked in his head. "Care for a little company."

"Come in Cy." Fitz said. The older gentleman ambled into the room and then sat on the couch in his usual place.

"Not at home with the husband.?" Fitz asked.

"I have no desire. He is probably celebrating at his favorite bath house." Cyrus moaned. Not a fan of scotch, he took the tumbler and poured himself a glass. "Ah the good stuff." He smiled.

"Gift from the Queen." Fitz said as he poured himself another drink. "200 years old."

"Cheers." Cyrus said. The two men clinked glasses.

"Have you talked to her?" Cyrus had to address the elephant in the room. He truly was his best friend and the one person that Fitz could depend on. He might have betrayed him, but at least he didn't sleep with any of his women. He always thought of Olivia like a daughter, Fitz like a son. He would probably be a better father to the both of them than the poor excuses they both had. Cyrus was very familiar with both of them.

"She won't talk to me." He said look deep into the glass.

"We've seen this movie before. She will. You two are Olivia and Fitz." Cyrus smiled.

"That was the problem. She wanted to take it slow. She wanted to work on our issues. She was still hurting from the kidnapping. She was easing into the spotlight, but that damn picture ruined everything. I could have rung Sally's neck. She was pushed into the limelight and we weren't ready. Then came all the pressure ,her confession, the impeachment, the proposal. It was all too much for her. I tried to make her into a First Lady , in Mellie's image. She would never be just an ornament. She was a force to be reckoned with. She could run for office herself." Fitz said

"She is a pistol. Done a lot for us." Cyrus said.

"If it wasn't for her, you wouldn't be back here. It was her idea to bring you back to discredit those findings concerning the committee and the kidnapping. " Fitz admitted.

"Well here we are, two guys alone on Christmas eve." Cyrus threw down a drink and poured another.

"Yep, all alone." He sighed and swallowed another mouthful.

It really was a pretty sight, thought Olivia. She also thought of all of the Christmases she missed. No father , a handful of visits to roommates houses. Christmas only reminded her of no family. It reminded her of loneliness. Not having anyone and then it dawned on her. Maybe they deserved another wasn't just them anymore. It was a whole nation.

She walked to her wardrobe and pulled out a cardigan sweater and a pair of LaPerla pants. They were stil loose but she could feel the pull. She couldn't wear them too much longer. Her manicured hands ran along her tummy. She had every intention to end it, but she couldn't.

Why?

She could picture being on the table in the gynos office. Fitz had her hand in his as they looked at the ultrasound. Tears came to his eyes as he kissed her tenderly. They would lay in bed as he laughed at her pickles and ice cream on top of her Gettysburger she had his Secret Service men get it. She would stand by his side at state dinners with her large belly adorned in a designer gown. He would hold their baby proudly in his arms after the birth. There was Christmases , Easters, and so much more. It would kill him since he already lost one child. It was always just what he wanted. Children with her.

Then the music was switched to the upbeat Mariah Carey tune.

"All I want for Christmas is you."

Olivia ran to the bathroom. Before she did she saw the new couch. If she was going to stay there, that was the first thing that had to be replaced. All of her thoughts of Jake and her had to be gone. Her thoughts of sex romps with Russell had to be history. The future was in front of her. The couch was a new beginning. All of the stains of the past were gone.

"Why do women have to be so complicated?" Fitz asked.

"You're asking me? I am gay." Cyrus chuckled.

"You were married to Janice." Fitz had to state.

"Janice, James. Both the same, a mystery to me." Cyrus admitted.

"I just don't want to make the same mistakes again. I don't want this to be like Mellie and I. I almost feel like I was giving her a sneak peek into the future, especially if I were to marry her before I get out of this royal prison. I was pushing her. Maybe I should wait until my sentence is over and then move things along." Fitz mused.

"I think if Liv puts her mind to it and forgets the emotional side, you couldn't have a better partner. She has a mind of steel and one of the keenest political minds I have ever seen. I know sometimes that I was sold on ideas that came from the mind of Olivia Pope. She works from her gut and we could sure use a team player for all of the people we have had to bench from the beginning of this ride. "

"I wasn't fair to her. She deserves a royal wedding for all the shit I have put her through. I was giving her a shotgun wedding with a shitty proposal. I had always pictured proposing to her in the Rose Garden, or the National Archives, or Vermont." Fitz confessed.

Cyrus was puzzled. "Vermont, I will admit that it is very romantic. But Vermont?"

"Olivia and I have discussed this for years. How we could go away from this all and have a normal life. We would make babies, she could make jam." Fitz went on.

"I can't picture Liv the domestic type. And aren't you a little old to start a new family? Do you realize how old you would be with the first kid? They would be pushing you in a wheelchair to his or her high school graduation." Cyrus laughed.

"It was a pet dream of ours. I would run for mayor in Vermont. I even had bought the land and had a house built. This beautiful house where I could retire. I never had any desire to return to California. Too many memories. Vermont has the skiing, the seasons change, and we could just fade into the woodwork there. I mean, if she still wanted to have OPA she could, she could commute or even run it from our house. I had an office built for me, for her, and lots of bedrooms for the kids. Teddy, Karen, " he started to weep softly. "Jerry" and any kids that we would have. They would have plenty of space, orchards to pick fruit, and a lake for picnics. Liv and I would have a swimming pool, tennis courts, hoops for b ball, and of course a place for the horses."

"Sounds like heaven." Cyrus sighed.

"The fireplace was made by stone masons. There is a sky light that was designed by a local artist and the kitchen counters are from marble quarries down the road. I even had a closet designed like at the White House where we could put our wardrobes. My suits and all of her purses and shoes. I actually have pictures of it on my phone." At this point , Fitz took out his phone and showed his friend the Vermont house.

"And no one knew about this why?" Cyrus scrolled through the pictures.

"Well we both know what a psycho Liv's father is. So if we needed to hide or if I needed to hide her, no one knew of it. Also I kept it secret so Mellie couldn't get her greedy little hands on it in the divorce. It would be a retreat for us while I was still in office or we could hide out here and no one would be the wiser."

The thoughts that Fitz had made Cyrus think of the dreams that him and James would have for the future. They would go off to some tropical climate and James would write that great American novel. Maybe even work with Fitz on his memoirs. Cyrus had plans instead of him and James moving to Cambridge where he would run Harvard. He would come home to James by the computer and Ella would become his brain child. There isn't anything she couldn't accomplish with brilliant parents and exemplary godparents. He actually started to cry for the dreams they lost. James was truly the one he could picture growing old with.

"Give it time." Fitz admitted as he sipped his drink. He looked over and he saw a quiet Olivia behind the door. She put her finger to her lip since she didn't want her ex to see her. She hoped she made the right decision. But no, she couldn't end it because she missed him.

"I think that there are still some things I need to do for Ella before morning."Cyrus knew he needed to go. They should be alone, he would give his friends that. With a Christmas greeting, he got up and hugged Fitz and then headed for the door. He signaled for Olivia to come out from the hallway.

"Merry Christmas Mr President." Olivia said cautiously.

"Liv?" Just like before, he thought he might have been dreaming this all up.

"I thought that you might be alone tonight, and I know I haven't talked to you for a while, so I decided to come over." It was like teeth being pulled for her to talk to him. She could tell by the look on his face that it wasn't going to be easy to win him over. He had taken ten months to get over Defiance, Lord only knows how long it would take to fix this.

"Well I am not an ogre, so sit down. " Olivia sat on the couch. "As you can see, I am alone tonight. You caught me when I am not in a meeting or at an event. I have been adapting to being America's most eligible bachelor. Mellie has the kids and I will see them in a few days. She was actually going to have them the first Christmas since I had assumed I would be spending it with you."

Olivia felt like crap. She knew it was coming.

"I have tried a few times to talk to you. Then you wouldn't even speak to me. I know how we left things up in the air. We said a lot of things and I just wanted to say that I didn't mean any of them. You are not worse than Mellie. I was trying to make you into Mellie. I was so used to a cookie cutter First Lady that I couldn't accept you as you are. You are a big dog, Livvie. You save reputations and make kings. I was stupid to think that I could push you into the woodwork . You are not a debutante, but a force to be reckoned with. I killed Mellie by making her like that and I should have known better. "

Olivia started to say. "I might have been a little hasty as well. Lately I have been getting so emotional and tired. I guess everything was getting to me as well. I know you only meant well when you moved me in here. I misinterpret everything. Everything was just moving too fast and I got scared. Then Cyrus came up with that insane idea of us getting married just hours after your marriage ended. I loved you so much I was willing to do anything to save you. But then as the Secret Service accosted me and told me how my life was going to change, I felt like I did when I was kidnapped. I felt like I was being pulled and forced and I …." Olivia started to cry.

Fitz got up from the chair and then put her into his arms. "I forgot Livvie, I forgot how you still weren't healed from that . I wish you would get some help. I feel like it was my fault. I forgot." Fitz sighed as she cried.

"I have been under the weather. I have been kind of nauseous. Maybe I can after the holidays." Olivia smiled .

"I am a terrible host. It's Christmas Eve and I am sitting here drinking scotch and I haven't even offered you anything. Would you like a drink?" Fitz offered.

"Maybe some water or some cranberry juice." Olivia piped up.

" I know, I have some excellent red wine that was a gift from the Prime Minister of Italy. He swore it was the best wine his country made and I know your penchant for Italian wines. Obviously very expensive and perfect for your snooty taste." Fitz got on his phone to have the wine brought up from the cellar for her.

"No thank you, I am kind of on the wagon, drank a little too much when I was living here." Olivia put up her hand. "Water will be just fine."

"Okay," Fitz pulled a water out of the fridge.

"Merry Christmas." Fitz took the other water and then handed it to Olivia.

"I guess I can quit for tonight." Fitz decided on water as well.

After they drank, the room was filled with silence. Both of them really didn't know where to go from there. They couldn't just start talking about the weather or even the latest scandal on the Hill. There was a lot of things that needed to be resolved. She couldn't just be moved back in and he couldn't just announce that everything was back to normal. There was a lot of history between them. Olivia knew she had to tell him, even though he had an idea that he might have found out by the detail.

"Did you like the new couch?" he asked.

"Yes, that was so thoughtful of you." Olivia smiled brightly.

"I thought it was the least I could do. You know keeping you here and the wine stain ." Fitz said. "And I hope you liked the tree as well. I just sent the WH decorator over to your house so you wouldn't feel so bad. I know the holidays have always been bad for you and I just wanted to do something so you wouldn't come back to that lonely apartment."

But as she took a sip of her water. Her eyes started to wander over and look at her former boyfriend. She watched as his supple lips took a sip of the ice cold water and the drops dripped down his chin. The water seemed to make the stubble on his face even more prominent. Olivia licked her lips. She loved when they were away and he didn't shave for a few days. Even when he was in a coma, she would take her hands and run it down his face, feeling the dark stubble. She loved his unshaven face.

Next her eyes wandered down to the tent in his trousers. The fine material couldn't hide it at all. She could just feel it inside of her, all of its masculine hardness. The first time she saw it , she shuddered at the size of his penis. She had been with her share of men, but never one this big. And that was a myth about black men. Every 'brother' she had never measured to be as big as him. With that kind of girth, she had no idea whether it would hurt going in her. But once he had been inside of her, she wanted it as much as possible.

Now it was starting again, she couldn't explain any of it. The hormones were starting and all she wanted to do was jump on his body. No explaination or anything. Her clothes were a distraction that she wanted to get rid of . All she wanted to do was reconcile so their bodies could become one again.

"Fitz?" she said timidly.

"Yes sweet baby." He politely answered.

"I have a confession." She started to say. "The night of the dinner I had no intention of coming. I had made an appointment at an abortion clinic. I was going to get an abortion."

Fitz stopped right there. The anger was building as he realized what he was being told. She was getting rid of their child and not telling him. She not only blew him off of their first dinner as the new First Couple but she was going to kill it. She wouldn't do it. But then again, she is the child of the man who killed his son.

"I told you I was going to get one. But then I thought about what I was doing. I told you that I was emotional lately. I would want to love you then kill you. I felt trapped . Didn't know what I was doing. I couldn't go through with it. They started the machine but I couldn't be my father. I couldn't kill any of it. I just needed to get away from you and the White House. That's why I started the fight that night. I wanted to go home, solve cases, just be Olivia Pope again. Our baby would have a chance with me then the scrutiny of the media and the public. I didn't want our child to be called "America's Baby' because it was made in love , not as some political maneuver. I also knew that if I didn't get out of there, then I dmight lose it. I didn't want that to happen. I had to get home no matter the cost." Olivia admitted.

At that point Fitz got up and sat beside Olivia. He snaked his arm around her and then pulled her toward him. His hand was now vacant of the gold band he wore for twenty years. Slowly he moved his hand down to her stomach and then it stopped. She looked down at his hands and then as he moved his head to meet them. He would give anything to hear its heartbeats. As he held his head there, he could just picture the baby growing inside of her. Yes, he was in the delivery room when Mellie delivered the other kids but this would be a child that was created with love to a mother who wouldn't curse her child. Inside the woman he loved was their child.

He craved to be near her. He needed to see the body that created this miracle. He also wanted her inside of him. She could feel his sweat on her body . He saw her bra sneaking through her tank top and he slid his hand down it to touch the sweet chocolate he was craving. But more than that , he saw that her La Perla pants covered what he really needed. The waistaband was pulled out so he could push his hands down her pants. Her wetness was his driving force as he pushed his finger further down to feel her mistiness. It was warm and called him home. The middle finger touched her button as her legs began to curl . She wrapped them tighter around him as she felt his erection.

"We did it !" he groaned. "Now we can have the dream."

The next day, Olivia and Fitz had made their way up to the residence. Both of them were buried under the antique duvet without clothes. Olivia 's hair was in its natural state. Fitz 's curls were matted to his head. The deal had been set. All was right again.

"Well, how would you like to go to Vermont."

PS in my story, she stopped the abortion. Hey it's fan fic.


	2. Chapter 2

With so many Mellie stories floating around, I decided that we needed some Olitz. Thanks for your kind words and reviews. So with out further ado, as requested, our story continues. . .

The residents of the apartment complex should have been used to it by now. How many times have they looked out the window to see the black unmarked cars and the mysterious men in dark suits come into their condo. This time Olivia got out and was followed in by three men. The one was very recognizable. Of course he was, he was the President of the United States.

"I told you before, we could have gotten you some new clothes. I could have made a few calls."

"I really wanted my own things. I don't have a problem going , but I would feel more comfortable."

Olivia opened the door and walked in followed by Fitz. Early this morning, he had called Mellie , Karen and Teddy and told them Merry Christmas. He also told the kids that he had a special surprise for them. He told them to have a bag packed and they would be picked up.

"Maybe it's home!" exclaimed Karen. "Daddy's bringing us to California."

"I don't know this time, Karen." Mellie admitted. "I don't understand anything about your father anymore."

Olivia pulled the Louis Vuitton from the closet and then threw clothes in it. She had no idea what to pack since her clothes would no longer fit. Thank god she had some looser pants before she would become bigger. The whole idea of pregnancy scared the shit out of her. She always had this tiny body and small tasteful breasts. Now her breasts would get bigger, her feet would swell, and she would gain weight. Her designer shoes would pinch and that would limit her in social situations. Client meetings would have to be shorter and she would have to excuse herself to go to the bathroom.

"The new couch is so comfy. " Fitz smiled. "Maybe it won't be so bad. Dating and living apart ."

"I told you . We will take it slow. I haven't said that I won't come over to your place, but at least each of us can have our own space. Somewhere to deprogram when we get sick of each other." Olivia threw her arms around his neck and kissed him. "I think I am ready." She smiled.

The motorcade headed for Andrews where Air Force One sat. Flashbulbs went off as America's couple left the limo and started for the plane. The reporters began to throw questions at them since this was an unscheduled trip.

"When are you going to propose , Sir?"

"Olivia what did the President get you for Christmas?"

"Did you get something for him?"

Fitz put his hand up to stop the questions being fired. Olivia took it down and then turned to him. "No let me handle this. " she said firmly. She also had heard that there were workers in the White House the night of the Cabinet dinner that heard the fight between the two . They also helped her move her stuff back to her apartment confirming any rumors that the love birds were done. White House staff was supposed to be sworn to secrecy but with this Administration, you never know who you could trust especially after the leaks from the video feed that appeared on Sally's show. No , she was the fixer and this was her and Fitz's crisis to manage.

"Good morning and Merry Christmas. Yes, we had a lover's quarrel but as you see, we have made up. We are going away for the holidays ." Olivia made her statement.

"Was the President romantic when he made up?" asked one of the younger press corp reporters.'

Olivia couldn't help but smile at the question and how young the reporter was. She was guessing she wasn't from one of the reliable news sources , maybe even a gossip rag or blog. People just love to hear the private details of the famous. This couple had brought the rest of the world into their relationship from just about the day that he had gotten the divorce. She knew the right response and knew it would make the press laugh as well.

"A gentleman never kisses and tells." Fitz smiled. "Merry Christmas everyone." He waved and then they climbed on the plane. Putting his arm around Olivia , he led her to a seat and then took off her shoes and propped up her feet. He sat down next to her as they settled in the plane. Buckled in, the plane took off and then the lovers held hands as Air Force One climbed into the sky. Olivia had fond memories of the day she flew away with Jake. She looked over to see Fitz clutching her hand and then his eyes closing and his head dropping. The next noise she heard was his snoring. She welcomed the chance to enjoy the peace and quiet and dropped her head as well.

When the limo drove up the driveway, the iron fence was decked with evergreen boughs and a wreath was on the front gate. The gate magically opened when the car arrived and then it proceeded to the front door. Servants took the packages, luggage, and boxes into the large house. It had been quite a while since Olivia had seen this house. After all the crap, she half expected to see a for sale sign in the front yard. But Fitz was the everlasting optimist, he wouldn't give up on them.

Opening the door, Olivia saw that the large living room was completely different from when she was last there. The white sheets were gone, there was a nice caramel colored couch and a Lazy Boy chair paired with a crème colored chair with an ottoman. The fireplace was fully functional and there was a baby Steinway over in the corner. Area rugs covered the wooden floors. In the middle of the room taking center stage was the largest Christmas tree that she had ever seen, except of course , at the White House. On the mantel was a Frantecelli manager scene imported from Italy , beneath it was four red stockings. One of them had her name on it. Each of them were stuffed to the brim.

"It's like a Christmas card." Olivia exclaimed. "Did you have this planned all along?"

"I do know this dude at the North Pole and I had a talk with him." Fitz laughed. "He guaranteed me a White Christmas. "

A maid came over with a silver tray with matching silver mugs. "Eggnog?" she offered.

"Don't worry , yours is virgin. No booze." Olivia took the mug and sipped it. "This is good." She said.

"Old Grant family recipe. Passed down a few generations." Fitz answered. "Are you hungry?"

Olivia patted her stomach and then grinned. "Ravenous. I haven't ate today because I didn't know whether I would throw up or not. "

Fitz led her to the kitchen and then sat her down. "Well that diet of popcorn and wine ends now. You are going to be eating three meals a day and snacks. No skipping meals either. You and baby need nourishment and it is going to be my job to make sure you get it. When I am not around, I will have Abby check on you. Have you been seeing a doctor? "

"I found one that I had sign a disclosure form. He knows that I am pregnant but doesn't know the father . I think we can trust her. She has worked with many government officials in Washington and kept their secrets. " Olivia commented as she began to gobble the scrambled eggs and ham off of the plate and then nibble at the fruit. "I must look like a pig to you." She said with a full mouth.

"Nope, you are the most beautiful sight in the world to me right now." Fitz smiled. This was the way that he could picture things.


End file.
